While it can be rewarding to win a championship and take home some prize money, the real fun in fantasy football is channeling your inner 13-year-old to pick the best inappropriate team name.
Picking an inappropriate fantasy football team is something of an art — you want something with the right mix of clever and raunchy, but not so over-the-line that it might offend the more delicate members of your league. And not something that’s too overdone or offensive just for the sake of being offensive (which rules out most Aaron Hernandez team names). Extra points for references to bodily functions or if you can manage to get a bit of trash talking aimed at your competitors’ favorite teams or players.
If you’re having a difficult time coming up with an inappropriate fantasy football team name on your own, here are some suggestions you can steal or use for inspiration.
Inappropriate fantasy football team names: Classic edition
These may not have a connection to a team or player, but they’ll still make your inner pre-teen chuckle.
Show Me Them TDs! — This one is funny, but a little too overdone. You should pick a different name, because someone in your league likely already has this one.
Multiple Scoregasms — Another one that’s overdone. It’s funny, but pick something else.
Givin’ Him The Business Down There — For reference
Two-Hand Touch Myself
Flex Offenders
Intentional Pounding
Rear End Zone — Simple but effective.
Inappropriate fantasy football team names: Team edition
You could just go with the Cleveland Browns on this one, but here are some other choices.
God Hates Jags — Nobody likes the Jaguars.
Tittsburgh Feelers
Mile High Chubb — An offensive player/team combo.
Inappropriate fantasy football team names: Player edition
Dak Prescott is holding up this entire section by himself.
My Ball Zach Ertz — This one’s a classic. At least one team in every league is mandated to pick this name.
It Ertz When Eifert — Grab this one fast before these old tight ends fade from memory.
Kamara Sutra
CeeDees Nuts
Saquon These Nuts
Brees Nuts — If you prefer Drew Brees.
My Diggs Hurts — If you manage to draft Stefon Diggs and Jalen Hurts, you’re legally obligated to pick this name.
Diggs Out For Harambe — Probably at least five years too late for this one, but still funny.
Stefon Diggs My Grave — Or Trevon, if you’re a Cowboys fan
Nick’s Half Chubbs
Coop Kupp Klan
Master Bateman — For the Rashod Bateman owner in your league.
Chase Young Kids — Bonus points if you’ve got him in your IDP league.
OBJYN
Abdullah Akbar
My Big Dak — There’s just so many opportunities with Dak Prescott.
It’s My Dak In A Box
Baby’s Got Dak
Dak That Thang Up — Maybe Dak Prescott should have his own section on here.
Dak’s So Raven — OK, this may not exactly be inappropriate, but it’s clever.
Dak Lives Matter
Zach MILFson — But alas, who wants to draft Zach Wilson anyway?
Thielen You Up — But the next one’s even better.
Thielen Up My Cousins
Jimmy G Spot
Turn Your Head And Goff
Jack N’ Goff
Fournetteflix And Chill
Fournettecation
DJ Chark Juju Juju Juju — You’ll understand why this is inappropriate if you’ve got kids who listen to their iPad at full volume.
OnlyFants
Tucker? I Hardly Knew Her!
Death by Sanu Sanu — For the Futurama fans.
Inappropriate fantasy football team names: Coach edition
These aren’t as easy to find, but get more points for creativity.
Critical Gase Theory
Spread Them and Coughlin — For the old-school Giants fan in the bunch
Nagy by Nature
Belichick Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Inappropriate fantasy football team names: Deshaun Watson edition
For the competitor in your league who drafts DeShaun Watson, one of these names should be issued to them.
Deshaunerable Discharge
Watsonder the Towel
Deshaun’s Salon
Groper Cleveland — Bonus points for showing love to the only United States president to serve two non-consecutive terms.
Deshaun Wantsum
Deshaun “Touchdown There” Watson
Alien Vs. Deshaun
Deshaunshank Redemption — If you like a good comeback story.
If you’ve made it all the way to the end but haven’t found a good inappropriate fantasy football team name that suits your fancy, try this: pick a name that only becomes offensive when your competitors have to say it. If you pick “With Myself,” then they’re “playing with myself this week.” If you go with “Off in the Bathroom,” and your opponent wins, then they beat … well, you get it.
